Post by theodosios dimitri kolovos on May 31, 2012 17:39:18 GMT -5
THEODOSIOS DIMITRI KOLOVOS. TWENTY NINE. REGULAR.
words used most often in reference to theo:
pushover; doormat; immigrant; lost; angry; purposeless; selfless.
contents of wallet:
one passport sized photo of daughter; three credit cards; one drivers license; one rusted key of indiscernible origin; one crumpled twenty dollar bill; eighty three cents; five drachma; two ticket stubs from axelle drive-in movie theatre; one piece of notepaper folded into quarters (reading: ‘don’t forget to call mom back re: hera’s birthday + this summer’); one half of a flyer from debt advice company; one business card for legal firm with ink scribbles on back.
recently purchased items:
one 20 pack of L&M Lights; one pack of spearmint gum; one greetings card (reads: ‘happy birthday! four today!’); one bottle of Bordeaux; one copy of ‘the la times’.
recently sent texts:
“sure. as long as by ‘make dinner’, you mean ‘order take out’. you gonna be here soon? i miss you. xx” – to girlfriend
“are you fucking kidding me? i’m not a drug dealer. find somewhere else to score. how’d you even get this number?” – to unknown number
“it’s driving me nuts. someone’s started up the old ‘theo kolovos: drug dealer’ rumour again. you wouldn’t believe all the business i would be getting if i actually -was- dealing.” – to friend
“nowhere near tempting enough. they put me in prison for dealing because amy left her stash in my glove compartment and then claimed it was mine. they’d probably string me the fuck up if i legitimately did break the law. the lucrative financial benefits wouldn’t outweigh the risk, i don’t think.” – to friend (again)
“ha! i wish. anyway, enough about my shit excuse for a life anyway. how’re you and the kids?” – to friend (again)
answering machine:
“Hi Theo. It’s Phil. You know, your lawyer. We really need to discuss the custody issue. Amy’s lawyers are going to play on your jail time as an excuse for you being an unfit parent. Now I know that’s not true and you know that’s not true, but those morons at the hearing don’t know that. They’re just going to hear you did time and they’re going to assume you’re a monster. So call me back and we’ll set up a meeting, and we’ll try and hash out what we’re going to do. Bring along the video, if you’ve found it. Documented proof that your ex-wife’s an irresponsible addict can really only help us at this point. All right. Call me back. Thanks.”
“Yia Theodosios. It is your mother. Why are you not picking up your phone? It is expensive to make call from Crete. I just call to say that I love you, and I wire you the money this morning so you can buy Hera birthday present from me. Get her something pretty. She is old now. Four is very old for a child to be without meeting her grandmother. This summer you will take your wife and your daughter and come and stay with your father and me at home. It is too long since you packed your bags and run away to America after foreign tourist girl. Too long since we see you in person. You come home this summer. Bring your family. Yes? We love you, Theo, but call is expensive. See you very soon. ”
“Theo, you come near my house again and I will get a restraining order. Stay away from me. Stay away from Hera. Do not make me call the police, because I would be more than happy to send your drug dealing Eurotrash ass back to prison.”
PUN. NINETEEN. GMT / BST. A FEW.
